“Geek.tosis! is a weight loss blog. It’s intent is to provide a forum not only for me to describe my journey, but for other to connect and learn.”
I want this to be a place to share our journey, for people to see what we’re going through and to document where we started. I want this to be a gathering place for people to sound off with questions and hopefully find some answers from the collective weight-loss community.
To get things started I thought I would share my story:
What can I say? I love food, I love eating. It’s many things for me: nutritional, social, comforting (emphasis on that last part.) That’s the crux of all this; I’m an emotional eater, have been for a long time… I just have a generally poor relationship with food.
My dad tells me stories of when I was a toddler, that I used to run around with cauliflower, eating it willingly. But when I was 2 my mom passed away (from many health issues, including an un-managed type 2 diabetes,) and my dad, now a single parent, still had to care for me while working. It wasn’t long before I moved in with my paternal grandparents.
I had a wonderful childhood, was never neglected and got more than I could have ever wanted of anything I needed, but as much as they acted like second parents to me, I was still living with grandma and grandpa. So there was always cake, chips, cookies, fast food… any time I didn’t want what was offered for dinner I ended up with something more palatable (read: chicken fingers, mac-n-cheese, etc.)
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not blaming my home life for my poor eating choices now, but I definitely developed into a very picky eater. I moved far away from almost all veggies, but most fruits were still acceptable (yay, sugar and carbs!) These habits continued through my teen years… which wasn’t so bad, since I was very athletic, and I remained so into high school.
Part way through, however I quit. I’d found my first boyfriend and lost myself. He wanted to spend more time with me, and swimming was in the way. So I dropped out, but never changed my eating habits; and by this time I was driving, so I could get whatever crap food I wanted, whenever I wanted… not to mention I WORKED at McDonald’s. Throw in a (destructively) bad relationship, a (dark) messy breakup, depression and high school and there’s a recipe for disaster.
I remember sneaking out of my room when no one was around to steal oatmeal cream pies, brownies, chips and m&m’s only to hide the wrappers like some kind of addict. When I moved back in with my grandparents for college, I got more depressed and things got even worse.
Now I was taking care of two adults who could take less and less care of themselves, while trying to get through college and have some semblance of a social life, in a town where I had no friends – more depression. I started skipping classes and driving to the nearest fast food restaurants and gorging myself on nuggets, burgers, fries… anything really. Failed classes – more depression.
This downward trend continued for about 2 years, before my grandpa got sick and passed away. After which my grandma moved in with my uncle and I left school and came home, still depressed. I managed to finish an Associate’s at the community college, but I was still at a dead end.
I still had my longtime boyfriend, who I met junior year of high school, and he was about all that was getting me through. We moved in together and I started to get better… I was still grossly overeating, and I think I pulled him down that trail with me, but emotionally I was starting to deal with things.
It’s been a long time since I’ve left high school and things are looking up. J and I are engaged (10 years together, next month,) I graduate college Tuesday and am working in my field, and J’s right behind me. We have very little debt, outside of student loans, and we have a good circle or reliable, steady friends. The only thing that remains is our health.
We’ve put it off for a long time, concentrating on everything else, but now it’s time for us to be selfish and do what we need to do.
We’re both in a much stronger mental state than we were years back, and for a diet this strict, I think you need to be. You MUST be ready to make a lifelong change, not look for a quick fix to shed 15 pounds but continue eating nothing but outrageous servings of terrible, processed, high carb/fat/sugar/etc. foods. (If you think you can do a diet like this and keep eating nothing but cheeseburgers and a nightcap, you’re wrong!)
As I’ve mentioned in this post, this protocol is split into 4 phases… the last of which being called ‘maintenance’. I think we should change this to “maintenance and life’ because that’s what it really means.
If you want to be successful, deal with your real, deep-down issues with food first, acknowledge the mistakes you’ve made and where you stand, and make a real statement to change for the better. Put your past behind you, but don’t forget where you started, because you never want to be there again.
J and I have our motivation, do you?