Today I made a choice.
Today I told myself “I’m worth it”.
When my alarm first sounded at 5:30, I snoozed it… habit. I rolled over, snuggled in my cocoon, but was just restless. When it sounded again at 5:40, I snoozed again and suddenly I realized I was awake. It was an ‘Oh yeah, I was gonna go do a thing’ kind of moment. I considered it – “really? I don’t HAVE to be at work until 9… on the other hand if I just get up now I can get to work early and get home early…” Then – and I don’t even know how/why, but I just got up. There was no additional flip-flopping, no fight, no bargaining; conversely there was no moment when I made this life-changing decision to get up and kick ass.
Nope, I just did.
I struggled – I dropped my phone a million times, I kicked things, made a ton of noise, woke my husband with the ruckus, couldn’t find my clothes – but I kept going.
I fired up my system, put in the DVD and went to feed the cats. I came back, turned on PiYo and went to work. I didn’t resolve to push myself harder than ever, I didn’t even promise myself I would complete the workout. What I did do was this – something.
I took the time for me.
I allowed myself to not worry about my next engagement, what time I’d be in to work, if the TV was loud enough that Jesse could hear. By doing something I was telling myself that it is okay to be ‘selfish’, that I am worth the investment.
The DVD came to an end. I wasn’t exhausted, I hadn’t pushed myself, I barely sweat, but I still had a victory.
Speaking of victories – let’s talk non-scale victories for a moment:
I dressed, did my makeup, and for the first time in months, took only one pill – Rx medication, but the usual array of vitamins and supplements stayed in the cupboard. Instead, I grabbed my bag of Shakeology. I cut it open, dug for the scoop, and grabbed my Nutribullet.
I’m currently like Mother Hubbard and my pantry is bare (shopping tonight), so I settled for water and ice. I blended the shit out of it.
I honestly expected it to be vile. I’d say, on first sip it reminded me of Nesquik, sans all the added sugar, but then the aftertaste kicked in. Again, it wasn’t bad, but it definitely has the lingering ‘healthfood, protein bar’ blech.
I hesitated with buying Shakeology… the initial price tag of $129.95 was a big hangup, but last week I had a realization. I drove to McD’s and ordered my usual #5 Bacon Egg and Cheese Biscuit + Hashbrown + Medium Coke (Extra Ice), and pulling through the drive thru, the woman at the register said ‘Hey! Don’t you usually get an extra drink??’ (I often get a bottle of water). I was mortified. You know it’s a problem when the register girl at the local McD’s starts to recognize you AND your order.
On top of that – just run the numbers. I was spending anywhere from $5.70-$7.19 ($6.45 on average let’s say.) For 5 mornings, that’s roughly $32.25, and over the course of one month that’s $129! I don’t know about you, but I don’t believe in coincidence.
That was the moment that I decided I really did need the change.
So today’s non-scale victory was this morning, as I drove casually past the highway exit I have taken every day for what must have been almost the last month, and left the golden arches in my rearview. I think I’ll grow to love Shakeology.